| Addiction Freedom Wall of Fame - Client Success Stories |
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"Sooner or later, those who win are those who think they can." - Richard Bach
Gary S. Pittsburgh, PA
Gary S. (name has been changed to protect the clients anonymity) is a thirty-seven year old contractor who suffers from drug
and sexual addictions. Over the course of five years, he contributed nearly $300,000 to his cocaine habit. He
lost his home, his job, his car, and his self-respect. When the money ran out, he began dealing cocaine as a means
of financing his addiction. Finally, Gary hit the bottom when he was arrested, and his new career came to a screeching
halt.
When Gary approached me for help, He was losing his life to addiction. The drug had begun to adversely affect his body,
and as a result he had contracted a bacterial infection that left a sizeable hole in his backside. He had attended
several Narcotics Anonymous meetings, but after each one, he felt more hopeless about success since Gary saw many of
the group's participants snorting cocaine in the parking lot.
Gary's problems began thirty-two years ago when his father began verbally and physically abusing him. To make things
worse, his mother condoned the abuse, leaving him without any security, nurturing, or love. However, like most, Gary
didn't understand the foundation of his addiction. He learned to dismiss his parent's abusive behavior simply because
they provided the bare essentials, and they each held their respective titles. In his mind, the fact that his father
taught him a strong work ethic was an even exchange for being beaten with a steel pipe.
I began by asking Gary a series of questions about his family. Slowly but surely, we uncovered the patterns of family
dysfunction that were at the core of his addiction. Even though his father had physically abused him, he seemed to
harbor a greater resentment toward his mother because of her passive attitude about the situation. Surprisingly, Gary
found the prospect of confronting his mother much more frightening than approaching the monster that bludgeoned him
with a steel pipe! Even though he was reluctant to speak with them, Gary succeeded in confronting both parents and
was on his way to liberating himself from family dysfunction.
As a result of the abuse that he endured, Gary's self-esteem was in the tanker! His father repeatedly bashed him
with verbal attacks, telling him that he was worthless and that he should never have been born. In his fathers eyes,
Gary could never do anything right. So, it's not surprising that Gary thought he deserved to be beaten and blamed
himself for his parent's abusive behavior. He bore an incredible burden of shame and guilt not only for failing
to live up to his fathers standards, but also for the pain he had caused others as a direct result of his addiction.
The key component to abstinence is a high level of self-esteem, and Gary needed a tremendous dose of it. People that
suffer from low self-esteem separate themselves from others because they feel inferior. Self-esteem is a product of
self-love, so to restore it you must learn to both forgive and love yourself. I taught Gary to level the playing
field by looking at the big picture. As an example, I explained that individually we are a grain of sand in the
desert of humanity, but collectively we are the desert. We are all the same, we all have the same power, and we
are all connected! Gradually, he began to rise above self-incrimination, and he realized that it was ok to forgive
himself. At this point, he was no longer afraid to face his true authentic self, and that's when he began his inward
journey of self-reflection. Awakening his true personal power restored his self-esteem and melted away his destructive,
sexual urges. In sixty days, not only did his desire to use cocaine completely disappear, but the drug actually became
repulsive to him!
Janet A. Clearwater, Fl
Janet (name has been changed to protect the clients anonymity) is a fifty-two year old special education teacher who has become addicted to alcohol. Her problems started
forty-six years ago when her mother began controlling her, inadequately parenting her, and teaching her negative
self-limiting beliefs about men! At the age of six, Janet's father abandoned her, leaving her to contend with mom's
dysfunctional behavior. Without many options, her mother took up residence with another dysfunctional family which
subjected Janet to even further harm. After the divorce, her mother withdrew and became increasingly bitter and
angry toward men. Unfortunately, while her mom was sidetracked with her own demons, Janet was being sexually abused
in the barn by her new surrogate brother and his friends. To make matters worse, her mom turned her head and threw
Janet to the wolves! This dysfunctional behavior crushed her self-esteem and robbed her of true life happiness.
However, like many, Janet doesn't understand why she is so unhappy because she learned to accept her mother's behavior
as a standard. All Janet knows is that when she's drinking her emotional pain disappears.
Janets marriage, life, and happiness began to disintegrate before her eyes, and she had no Idea why. She always knew in her
heart that there had to be more to the puzzle than her therapist had professed to. So she kept searching for an answer to
her unhappiness while she continued to deaden the pain by drinking and shopping. When her husband left, she began filling up
the closet with clothes, shoes, purses, and jewelry. But when the shopping trips were over and the bottles were empty,
the unhappiness always returned.
The sexual abuse Janet lived through as a child had finally erupted into a plethora of insecurites that
were destroying her marriage. The abuse and dysfunctional behavior fostered by her mom had all but shattered her self-esteem, and
ultimately led to her shopping and alcohol addictions.
I began working with Janet to unearth the root of her addictive behavior, failing marriage, and unhappiness.
Although her mom had controlled, manipulated, and inadequately parented her, ironically, janet seemed to harbor a greater
resentment towards her father since he had abandoned her at tender age. However, we addressed the core issues by confronting
not one, but both of her parents, and set the record straight once and for all. This allowed Janet to drop the emotinal baggage she
had been toting around all these years and to liberate herself from the past. At that point, we began working on step II
and III ,"Forgiveness" and "Curing Wounditis." Slowly but surely, her fears and insecurities began to melt away, leaving
her with a renewed vision of re-discovering herself. Janet began an inward journey of self-reflection, and what she found
was more wonderful than she ever could have imagined. Within 90 Days, not only did her desire to compulsively stock her closets disapear, but
the mere thought of drinking alcohol became repugnant!
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